Jesus On Divorce

Yesterday I preached a sermon from Matthew 5:31-32 on divorce, and I thought it might be good to write a bit of a recap here in the blog to help those who may come along and wonder about God’s view on divorce. In the context of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is demonstrating how the standard of righteousness that God gives compares to the lowered standard that has been given by the teachers in His day. The Scribes and Pharisees were primarily teaching that a man could divorce his wife for any reason whatsoever as long as he made sure that he released his wife with a certificate of divorce. This was their lowered standard of righteousness.

We can look back on that standard today and think that this is a pretty low bar for righteousness, however, in our culture today it is very common for people to divorce for almost any reason. “Irreconcilable differences” is often given as a reason for divorce, which simply means we do not want to do the hard work of solving the issues between us and we would rather quit the marriage. Divorce is not considered any big deal today in many circles, just as it was not considered a big deal in the days Jesus taught this wonderful sermon. In other words, the times we live in today are similar to the times when Jesus preached this sermon to the people of Israel.

And Jesus declares that divorce for any reason other than sexual immorality causes adultery. In these verses, adultery between the ex-wife and her new husband, but in Matthew 19 Jesus adds that it also causes adultery in the man who divorces his wife and remarries. The only exception given in both Matthew 5 and Matthew 19 is sexual immorality. In other words, the standard of righteousness, God’s standard, the true standard, is to not divorce for any reason other than sexual immorality, and anything less than that reason causes adultery in all different directions. God’s standard is the perfect standard, and the perfect standard is one man, one woman, becoming one flesh for life, which comes from Genesis 2:24.

“Irreconcilable differences” is often given as a reason for divorce, which simply means we do not want to do the hard work of solving the issues between us and we would rather quit the marriage.

This was a disturbing teaching in Jesus’ day, just as it is today. In fact, it disturbed the disciples so much that in Matthew 19:10 they said, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry” (Legacy Standard Bible). In other words, if this is the standard, we should just opt out of marriage altogether! But Jesus does not lower the standard, He follows that up by telling the disciples that for some men, they can accept singleness and celibacy, and for some, they cannot and need to get married, but what Jesus refuses to do is to lower the standard of righteousness. God’s standard for marriage and divorce is a high one, one that is unattainable.

Now, some may argue about my last statement, that God’s standard for divorce is unattainable. They think themselves righteous here because they are still married to their first spouse. However, think about this with me carefully. This teaching is the third of six teachings Jesus gives regarding righteousness, and in teachings one and two, we learned that it is not enough to just not murder, but you must never be angry with someone, and it is not enough to just not commit adultery, you must not lust. I do not believe for one second there is a person alive who has attained to these standards of righteousness, we have all been angry and lusted sinfully. In the fourth teaching, we will be learning that righteousness requires we always perform everything we say we will do, in the fifth teaching that righteousness requires we always give when anyone asks anything of us, and in the sixth teaching that righteousness requires we always love our enemies and pray for them. The sum of all six teachings is in verse 48, “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” This all links back to verse 20 where Jesus said, “For I say to you unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” In other words, if we fail to meet these standards, God will not allow us into the kingdom.

In teachings one and two, Jesus taught that it was the “pure in heart” who were righteous, but is anyone going to claim they have been “pure in heart” in their marriage?

I had a conversation with someone after the sermon yesterday where they said they felt very convicted about the sermon because they had not measured up to the standard because of a past divorce because that means they are an adulterer. I asked my friend whether they realized from the week previous that they were an adulterer, and they said they did, so then I further noted that now they have had revealed to them that they are guilty of adultery in another fashion, but it is no worse than the week previous. We are all guilty of all.

Here is what we must understand, Jesus refuses to lower the bar of righteousness, in divorce or in any other issue. God’s righteousness is a fixed standard that will be lowered for no one. In His refusal to lower the bar, none of us can get over the bar. Each bar laid out is unattainable, and this is the very reason we need the righteousness of another. There is only One who has kept the righteous standard, and that is our Lord Jesus Christ, and He offers His righteousness to anyone who would believe in Him. Jesus would take on the unrighteousness and nail it to the cross for any sinner who would come to Him. The point Jesus is making is, no one measures up but Him, and since we need a righteousness that surpasses that of the Scribes and Pharisees to enter the kingdom of heaven, we need the righteousness of another. Jesus is the only One who can provide that righteousness for us, and for those who have believed on Him, they now have a righteousness that surpasses that of any man, except one Man, Jesus.

Here is what we must understand, Jesus refuses to lower the bar of righteousness, in divorce or in any other issue.

Something I have strived to make clear in teaching this, is that the Christian is to strive for the standard of righteousness, walking according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh, but we must also bear in mind that even the Christian will fall short. I still have anger, I still have lust, and on and on it goes, but I am being sanctified. I am, more and more, hating my sin and loving my Savior and His righteousness, and this is the call of the believer. Even if someone divorced after becoming a Christian, they may be guilty of adultery, but so is the one who looked at someone with lust in their heart after becoming a Christian. The divorced individual is no worse than the individual who has struggled with lust, they are both adulterers. But we must continue pressing toward the standard, so for those who are married, press into the standard of righteousness, and continue to pursue righteousness and the one flesh union you find yourself in today. We must remember divorce was given because of hard hearts (Matthew 19:8), which means it was given because of sinful hearts, unrighteous hearts. Divorce is a symptom of unrighteousness in one or both of the spouses.

In summary, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, so divorced people, you are not a second-class Christian whatsoever! Yet, let us not sin more that grace may abound either, so let us pursue the standard of righteousness which is one man, one woman, becoming one flesh for life. For those who counsel married couples, stop focusing on stopping a divorce, and focus on the unrighteousness that is causing the two people to not live as one flesh. This is the call from Scripture, “My brothers, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20). God permitted divorce, but the cause of divorce is unrighteousness. If we can turn people from their unrighteousness, we can turn them from the tragedy of divorce.